CHAPTER ONE-INTRUDERS

Tarin Tavin Keller was born mid January and by all accounts, the bundle of joy was born a couple weeks late. Kelly labored for 2 days, was physically and emotionally exhausted. She had no perks of the modern world and had very little pain tolerance. For Tavin and Julia it was the longest 2 days of the new world. They were scared and lost at times trying to keep Kelly comfortable. They walked her and rubbed her back and held her hands, but all they felt from their end, Kelly felt one hundred fold on her end. Tavin started an IV and gave her fluids to keep her hydrated, she'd refused to drink during her labor and the worse it got, the closer they approached to the birth he needed her hydrated for her strength. The pushing took hours on end and Kelly was in a state of agony unlike they'd ever witnessed before. The pay off in the end was worth ever bit of pain Kelly felt as she cradled little Tarin to her chest. The pain was over, the joy began. Everyone breathed a huge sigh of relief as baby boy Keller screamed his way into the world. Julia and Hayley took the baby and assessed him, cleaned him up, suctioned the goo from his mouth and nose, placed him in a diaper and swaddled him tightly in a blanket. Tavin had instructed them how to gauge his strength and wellness from the books he'd read. He was strong, well developed and had a strong cry. Tavin delivered the placenta and then gave her a local anesthetic in order to sew up the tear that baby Keller had given Kelly as his head made it's way into the world. He'd practiced suturing and was no expert, but she was sewn up and appeared to be ok.  

Julia and Hayley read and memorized the information they gathered on breast feeding, caring for mom and her newborn. They were educated better after the world ended than before it ended. Hayley gave Tarin back to Kelly and attempted the breast feeding together, getting him lo latch on and suck. They had formula that they'd scavenged, but it was imperative that the girls breast feed the babies as they didn't have enough to last either new mother. Once baby drank and everyone oohed and aahed over the new life, baby Tarin fell asleep. Julia handed the baby over to dad.

Hayley and Julia cleaned Kelly up, gave her a bath, redressed her.

"I am so glad that's over." She said, summing up the ordeal of childbirth. "I don't ever want to do that again."

"It's all over, get some rest and we'll wake you when it's time to feed him. Ok. We'll be here checking on you."

Kelly initiated them into the world of obstetrics. She was their guinea pig. Unfortunately that's how the game was played first time around. For all their fears and their worries of how wrong things could go, they had a strong sense of pride that the little family was healthy and strong. As Kelly recovered, Tarin grew, gaining weight and eating without any difficulty. For all intents and purposes, the baby and mom would be just fine. Within a few days, mom and baby were out of bed and out of the room. The baby was the new celebrity in the house and everyone was interested in holding and loving little Tarin. His full head of black hair, his deep brown eyes and pinchable cheeks. No one wanted to put him down. Being the dead of winter, no one had anything else pressing to do other than love the baby.

Andy and Rey took over care and education of the children. They did a whole presentation on culture and accepting different cultures and ways of life. They were trying, but the eldest kids questioned if that even mattered anymore? All the kids wanted was Kelly back with them all day.

Julia and Hayley sat with Kelly in her room. She had just set Tarin down in his bassinette for a nap. They wrote down how she was feeling, took her vital signs, weighed her. She was down to nearly her pre-baby weight.

"Any problems?" Julia asked.

"Keeping his dick away from me. That's the only problem." Kelly said annoyed. "We're supposed to wait to do it aren't we? That's what you guys said."

"Well, yeah, you are." Hayley nodded, watching her lay down.

"Well as my nurses, you need to remind him. He's having issues with that."

"Have you reminded him?" Julia asked.

"Yeah. Over and over again."

"Sure. I'll talk with him. Let's look at you and get those stitches out."

"You're taking them out?" She asked.

"Yep."

Julia unpackaged the suture scissors and snipped carefully at her stitches. The tugging was uncomfortable as she was still sore there. The swelling had gone down, but she was still oozing dark blood, which she'd assumed was normal. There was no odor and no signs of infection along her suture line, which was healing beautifully.

"All done." Julia said, removing her gloves. She saved the scissors to clean and reuse and the clips she'd used to pull the strands of sutures out. "Looking great. You're healing nicely."

Hayley documented all the information in the chart and then sat it back down on the dresser where they kept it till she was completely recovered.

"I'm going to take a nap with the baby." Kelly said, pulling the blanket over her.

Julia found the guys in the barn with the horses. Chess milked the cow and the calf fed at its side. Tom and Tavin were working on the deer, which grossed her out still.

"Hey, baby daddy, can we talk?" Julia asked.

"Yeah. Sure." He nodded, following her to the barn entrance then closed the door behind him. "What's up? She's ok? The baby?"

"Oh, they're just fine, doc. Remember all that book learning we did about care of mom and baby post partum?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Remember that part where it said that sex should be restricted for at least 6 weeks post partum? As nurse to doc, I'm sure that you recall this."

"I do."

"Then as nurse to father, why am I standing here asking you to keep away from her til the time is right?"

"I'm sorry. I know, but-"

"Control yourself." Julia ordered. "Tavin she had stitches in her twat, her crotch is sore from the baby's head ripping it apart. She's tired. Please, don't even try to go there. She doesn't want it."

"I'm sorry."

"Tell her that, not me."

"I will. You know how I am."

"She's healing in there. She doesn't want you touching her. Got it?"

"I got it. She won't even help me out in the morning anymore."

"That's insulting and demeaning to her, Tavin. It's been 2 weeks."

"It's been longer than two weeks."

"Not my problem. That's yours."

"Did you get her stitches out?" He asked.

"I did, she's all good. She's still got a little oozing, but I think that's normal. She's fine. She's lost almost all her baby weight. Let her recover the right way. I know it's been awhile. Please wait. Take care of yourself."

"I wouldn't have to if you would help a guy out."

"You're the one who said to pick someone, so I have. Leave me alone."

Julia and Jay lay in bed, having smoked some of Chess's rationed weed. They talked about their day and that Kelly was healing, how she'd successfully removed her first stitches ever. She was proud of herself, everything that she and Hayley had done the last couple weeks. She was also grateful she had her IUD firmly in place. She was in no way, shape or form ready to give birth the old fashioned way. Kelly's agony had been a lesson learned for her. She wasn't ready and neither were her precious body parts. She was thankful everything still was in its place and untouched by pregnancy. No matter how cute that baby Tarin was, it didn't change the fact that she didn't want to be torn apart like that any time soon.

"Her vagina will never be the same, Jay. Babe, you have no idea."

Jay had witnessed only a portion of the birth process, long before the pushing and long before the screaming started. That was pain, raw and unending it seemed, which left him wondering how a woman even survived that at all. If he doubted before which sex was the strongest, he knew the answer after Kelly's whole labor and delivery. It had sounded literally like her bones were being crushed or she had been victim to some medieval form of torture. And she lived to tell the tale. 

Since Tavin had accused her of being a whore, she'd chosen to only make love with Jay. Jess was still on the side. She didn't give up her girlfriend, refused to. But backed off Chess entirely. At first the foursome was confused, but since Julia had created it, Julia chose to end it. Tavin made her feel like a complete whore. She knew that Tavin's thoughts shouldn't influence her and she shouldn't have let him get to her like that, but it was over. Tavin couldn't have it both ways either. He couldn't single her out as a whore, then try to fuck her on the side. His words restricted every one, including him.

"Babe, I miss Jess."

"She's right upstairs, babe. Go get her." Julia replied.

"Together. I miss you two together. What the fuck happened?"

"Nothing. It was different when we all thought we were going to die, Jay. It's quite the opposite now. It appears as though there's no end and there's new life."

"You made that choice for us tho-"

"Jay, if you wanna fuck Jesslyn, go fuck Jesslyn." She shrugged. She touched his face, kissed his cheek. "I know what she does for you, Jay. Go ahead."

"What's she do?" he laughed.

"She tells me everything. She does for you what I won't do. So go, babe." Julia smiled. " I can work with Chess for awhile. We have spring plans. Tell him to bring the hooch with him."

"He's pissed you won't give him any."

"He hasn't mentioned that. Do you want me to?"

"Do what you want, Julia." Jay replied, pulling on his jeans.

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"No, I'm just saying. Don't act like that never happened. You can't regrow your morals."

Julia started laughing. "So you want me to please Chess? It takes all of 3 minutes. You know he can't get in there and stay for any real length of time."

"I love you, babe."

Chess and Julia sat on the bed with the book and the plans for spring. He had to double his weed effort if he truly wanted it to last through the winter. As well as the tobacco. She had his attention with the discussion of anything weed related. The fact he had to ration it out instead of hording it for himself had initially pissed him off. The same with the alcohol. Julia's reasoning was simple. They don't horde the food, so why horde the alcohol and the tobacco. They share in all the crops, not just a few.

Julia had plans to extend their space more to the adjacent land on their left. She wanted to create an area for the animals, maybe add another addition off the one that they were currently in. He and Jess would be giving up their room when Hayley and Kevin had their pending bundle of baby joy, which pleased no one except for Hayley. They'd spent the winter chopping down trees on that land, burning them in their fireplaces and their stoves. As the area cleared out, Julia wanted to add a fenced area that was similar to their current fence and fortify it. Once the weather warmed up, they'd get to work.

"So you'll be able to extend this back to here and then add the tobacco back to here. It would be able to last us. The still we'd leave here and plant around it." Julia told him, pointing out the new specs she'd had Kelly draw up during one of her end of pregnancy panic attacks. It had been a great diversionary tactic, sitting her by the window overlooking the back yard and having her draw as Julia told her what she had planned.

"You drew this, Julia?" He asked, reaching his hand beneath the book and placing it on her thigh.

'Lord, he's going there.' Julia thought as he looked at the drawing.

She spread her legs a little and let him in, feeling his way around till he found what he was searching for. "Chess, Kelly drew this. Focus."

"I am focusing." He said, pushing the books off her lap and onto the floor.

Julia shifted onto her back, let Chess on top of her for all of his three minutes. "Chess, really." Julia complained as he lay on top of her.

"You know how that feels." He asked.

"Yeah, I am here." She replied, reminding him of the fact she was present for all three minutes.

"You didn't wanna anyway, so why complain that it didn't take me long?"

"Chess, you're a dick." She mumbled. "You can do better than that."

"Are you gonna get into it? Or pity fuck me again?" He asked. "I know I'm not Tavin, but you could at least try."

"What's he got to do with this?" She asked, looking up at him as he still laid on top of her.

"Cause you haven't been into it since you started fucking with him again. That's what he's got to do with it."

"Not true."

"Well his magic dick sucked the excitement right out of you. Tell me it didn't."

"Nah, it wasn't that." Julia answered. "He told me I was a whore. Fucking with everybody like that. That's all. Then I got to thinking about it and I thought he was right."

"What an asshole." He cursed. "It was your idea and he has nothing to do with what we do or don't do, Julia. It's none of his business. Why would you let him talk to you like that?"

"I didn't. But it was stuck in my head."

"There's no more bullshit right and wrong of that world anymore. Don't bring it back, all that shit that made us feel bad or dirty." Chess told her. "Our house, our rules."

"I know, but-"

"Our house, our bed, our rules." Chess reminded her. "We fuck who we want, when we want. I ought to kick his stupid ass. And he was fucking with you on the side. Jealous mother fucker."

"Chess-"

"I don't think Jay knows. I got your back. Don't worry." 

"What?" Julia asked confused.

"You two did perimeter checks that took twice as long as anyone else. I'm not stupid."

"Chess, I -."

"You don't have to make excuses." Chess told her. "But you can't let him mess with your head so he can keep this all to himself."

"I can't believe-why didn't you say something sooner?"

"Because I don't care what you do. It's your choice." Chess answered. She felt him growing inside her. "This belongs to you. You do who you want with it." He started moving his waist again, slowly more gently than before.

"I love you, Chess. You know that right?"

"Yeah. I know. I love you back." He smiled.

He kissed her.

She climbed the steps to Tavin and Kelly's room. Kelly was feeding Tarin. The kids were swarmed around her, waiting for the baby to finish so they'd have her full attention. She shooed the kids out to Andy and Rey and closed the door behind her.

"Kelly, just here to check on you and baby."

"OK." She replied, making some room on the bed for her.

"I miss this kinda. Hanging out, us, alone."

"Like the room at the last house?" She wondered aloud. "You know what I mean."

"I wouldn't mind that, you know if you're up to it, as soon as you're up to it. Cause I love you, babe." Julia said, curling her body against Kell's as they looked at Tarin and fussed over him.

"It's what I've been waiting for, that he'd allow it again. I think he was jealous or something." Kelly smiled.

"Don't worry about it anymore." Julia smiled. 

"Ok." Kelly agreed smiling at Julia.

"If it happens, it'll happen, right? But you should have a say, like it's not entirely up to him, ok."

"Ok." She said, shifting the baby to her other breast.  Julia leaned and kissed her again. "Think he'll fall asleep or is he up for a bit?"

"I'm not sure. He'll probably fall back to sleep. He's still up on and off all night."

Julia and Kelly passed the baby back and forth, giving him all the attention he could ever want. Kelly laid him down when he fell asleep on her chest, in the bassinette, covered with a light blanket.

They stood next to the bassinette, watching the baby sleep. His little hands curled in little fists, the rising and falling of his chest as he breathed, his thin little lips that would curl into a smile now and then.

"He's an amazing little gift, Kell." Julia told her, taking her hand and leading her back to bed. "Just like his beautiful mommy."

Jay had put the kids up for the night. They didn't need tucking in anymore. The baby was 3 going on 13 and had her independence, but still needed the blankie she'd slept with since birth. He watched the kids settle and turned off the lamp. Like it or not they slept in the dark nowadays.

Julia and Chess sat at the table half drunk, playing cards and doing shots. Jay had no interest in that awful tasting alcohol, but Julia and Chess could drink it like water. They'd spent half the winter drunk at the table playing cards. Bored with nothing else to do, Chess had taught her to play poker. Julia wasn't exactly a card shark, but that was what their friendship amounted to. Alcohol and cards. There were times Jay felt a slight bit envious of their friendship. It was so laid back and easy. Alcohol and cards, cheap conversation and company.

Jay joined them, sitting across the table. He waved the bottle away from him when Julia held it up, making a face that said it revolted him. Ugh, the very thought of passing that liquid over his lips and down to his stomach made him gag. How did they do it? Chess dealt him in. He had nothing to do and nothing to say watching these two drunk people attempt to play poker.

Jay looked at Chess, then back at his annoyingly wasted bad decision making girlfriend and wondered how he ever got mixed up with her. When they met she was the most wonderful, sweet and caring girl. Where exactly did things run amok with his innocent virgin girlfriend? There were some words he'd learned to keep to himself. It was best not to open up conversations like that. All roads somehow led back to him and some stupid thing he'd done or said. Julia was a mystery he'd yet to figure out. Despite the amount of time he'd spent at her side in and out of bed, he was unable to piece together the puzzle of Julia Fry. What on earth had they become? There were times he doubted her mental health and there were times he doubted her decisions and he wondered why he even loved her at all. She was crass, crude and rude. She belched like a guy. She slept with his best friend and his girlfriend, had pulled them into this twisted affair of multiple bodies and made excuses up that really made her sound like she had a point. Most of the time, Jay would just go with the flow to avoid her driving him absolutely insane.

"Where is Jess?" Jay asked, folding his cards.

"Asleep." Chess answered.

"Great." Jay mumbled.

"Are you ok, babe? What's wrong?"

"Cabin fever is all. Tired of these four walls is all." He replied. "Hey, do you remember when we used to be happy to be in the same room with each other?" Julia and Chess looked at him like he was crazy. "Yeah, Jules, neither do I."

Jay got up, put his jacket on and head outside to the front porch.

"Aw, shit, Chess. I don't like him when he gets in his moods." Julia complained. "I always gotta go fix him and make him feel better. What's bothering him?"

"I don't know?" Chess answered. "I think you're drunk again."

"Eh, it's always my fault. Something I did or said in the last three years is pissing him off. Then I gotta figure it out like a code that needs cracking." She folded her hand, got up, feeling like she had to go follow him. But being wasted, she kind of stumbled her way to the door, snatching her hoodie off the sofa on the way.

"Jayson, what the hell is wrong with you?" She asked, closing the door behind her. He sat on the steps in the dark. He didn't answer, which was not a good sign. "So I did something, again, I guess, to piss you off." She pulled her hoodie over her head and sat beside him, swaying on the step. "Ok, so you hate me. What did I do now?" He put his arm around her shoulders and held her to keep her warm. "Ok, so you hate me and you're mad at me and I'm drunk, but I'm not drunk enough to not care, babe." Julia stopped talking, letting him just put an arm around her.

"Where the hell did we go wrong?" He asked. "Where the hell did we go wrong?"

"Oh, God, Jayson. Are you going to break up with me again? I'm sorry for whatever I did. It's all my fault."

"You're fucking drunk, Jules."

"I drink too much. I know I'm no fun when I drink. I'm sorry, Jay. You don't like me when I'm drunk. I'm sorry." She apologized. "I'm sorry. I won't do it any more, Jay. I swear."

"You make some stupid ass decisions sometimes, Jules. And you make me sick sometimes."

"That makes me feel good."

"I'm never going to be enough for you am I? I'm never going to be good enough."

"Please don't do this, Jay. It makes me sad when you talk like that. Cause you know it's the other way around. You take it on you like all my problems are your fault and they're not. I'm the one with issues and I'm the one you can't trust. I'll change, Jay. I swear, so you can stop blaming yourself, stop thinking it's you." She pulled away from him. "You're the good one. You are, babe. Anything that ever went wrong was me. All me, and anything you did was a reaction to me." She started shimmying away. "So why do I drink? Why? I feel good like this."

"God, get back here." He mumbled, pulling her bony little body back toward him. "You're pathetic, you know."

"I am. I am weak and I have issues. I'm bipolar remember." She told him, pulling her hood over her head.

"Shh, do you hear that?"

"Hear what, babe?"

"The motor running." He replied, standing up. He grabbed he by her hoodie and dragged her backwards to the door.

"Jay, what are you doing?"

"Lights out." He said. He jogged upstairs and yelled lights out, which brought Tavin and Chess into the hall.

"Lights out. What's up?" Tavin asked.

"Motors? Hear them?"

They went slowly back downstairs and stood by the window with Julia.

"This could be a problem." Julia slurred as the motorcade passed their farmhouse. Several vehicles passed them by. The boys had their guns at the ready.

"Shhh."

"They can't hear me, Jay." Julia replied. "Is that a fucking tank or something?"

"Who is that you think?" Chess asked.

"I don't know, but they're driving by. All the the roads and they drive down this one?" Jay asked.

"It is the main road through this hick town, Jay. And it's one of the few passable ones." Tavin said.

Tavin watched as the headlights of at least 10 vehicles passed. A caravan of individuals, all alive and armed.

"This could be a problem." Julia said, wondering if she'd already said that once. She couldn't quite remember. They were out numbered and out armed. "Think they'll keep on driving or stay awhile?"

"Why in the middle of the night? In the middle of the winter?"

As the headlights finally faded and put them back in the darkness, the four stood huddled together.

"Jay, get dressed. Meet you in 5 minutes by the barn."

"Yeah, no problem." He said.

They dressed quickly, took pistols and rifles and left the house. Tavin and Jay met at the barn where they led the horses into the dark of night. "Guys, where are you going?" Julia asked.

"We'll be back. Keep your drunk asses in the house and stay dark. Lock up."

"Should we wake everyone up?" Julia asked.

"No." Chess answered.

"I'm scared, Chess. What if they don't come back?"

"Let's go wait." Chess suggested, leading her back inside. They sat on the sofa in the living room.

"So we're just gonna wait here." Julia asked.

"You could wait on my dick?" Chess offered, moving her hand to his pants.

"Ummm, Ok. Pull him out. I'm on top."

Julia passed out on top of Chess who passed out beneath her. Half clothed, her hair all over the place. They were woken from their slumber and had no idea how long they'd been out. "What the fuck are you two doing?" Hayley asked, shocked at the sight of Julia on top of Chess.

"It's cool. What's up, Hay?"

"This isn't cool."

"Yeah, it's alright. We do this sometimes. Did Jay and Tavin come back?"

"I don't know, but there's someone outside. Kev went out with his gun, Julia."

"Shit. Ok." Julia said. "Go upstairs and stay with Kell and the kids. Lock yourselves in." She ordered. "Chess, wake up."

"What?"

"Guns, babe. Let's go."

"You sobered up?"

"Maybe. Come on."

They were on their way to the addition when they heard the first gun shot, which made them move faster. Luz came out of her room and Julia ordered her to stay low and get upstairs with the girls and the kids. It was a relatively small group armed and ready. Julia kicked the door open first and looked out quickly into the night.

"Kevin!" Julia hollered. She pulled the door shut.

"Back door, Chess. I can't fucking see."

Chess kicked the door open again. "This door. I'll go out first." He jumped over the couple steps and hid beneath the cover of the coop.

He held his hand up and told her to wait. As Chess ducked behind the coop a person stepped into her sight that was a stranger. She aimed her gun and didn't hesitate as she fired a bullet into his back. The group always went with the idea that stranger equaled danger, fire first and ask questions second. She took the steps and peered into the darkness where the man had come from and stood face to face with another. She ducked, hearing foot steps behind her, Chess's foot steps and she felt the bullet pass her and enter the intruder.

"Shit." Julia yelled, crawling across the cold dirt to the coop with Chess. "Who the fuck are they, Chess?" She asked, her heart pounding hard enough that she could barely breathe.

"Jules, calm down. Breathe. Don't panic." He told her, looking through the screen on the coop. Tom stood armed in the door way to the addition. Cass and Doug behind him.

"Go to the front." Chess told her. "Follow me." They crept past the coop, Julia taking the wider path around and looked for more unfamiliar faces. There were more. Glad that Tom, Cass and Doug had their backs, they stood as a united front as the men were caught coming in their gate.

Julia shot first, then the rest after her and killed them without any questions asked. They'd been on foot. Were they part of the caravan they'd seen earlier? Would their shots bring more behind them?

Tom and Chess did a quick perimeter check while Julia and Cass went back inside to check on the rest of their group. Doug stood at the front of the house and watched the road.

"Is everyone alright up here?" Julia called, leaving Cassidy on the stairs. Three doors opened with frightened faces staring back at her. "I want all of you down here in the addition with the doors locked. Kelly, get yourself dressed. Kids get dressed. I want you all down here and have shoes ready to put on." Luz and Jess hurried down the steps and Cass assisted them with the temporary supplies. Chess came back inside and said all clear. "Chess, this is a fucking code red. Remember what that is?"

"Yeah."

"Good, get out there. Get the vehicles ready. I want them ready to drive out of here. Make sure the largest is near the front. The van gets parked right in front of the addition door and unlocked for the kids and Luz to get into. Tom, get our E-bags and get them in the van. Cass, get our weapon bag, divide them up like we practiced. Doug, stay right where you are."

As everyone upstairs filed downstairs, Julia shut and locked them into the addition. They all took space in the rooms and hid themselves.

"Where the hell is Kevin?" Julia asked, stepping out back near the box truck where Chess had parked it. "Chess, anyone not shot in the head needs to be put down." Julia went to the men near the coop first. The one who was shot in the back was still alive, but barely had a pulse. Julia shot him.

Tom and Doug double checked the men in the front yard. They'd been killed and all had numerous head shots. There were eight total. "Is everyone alright?" Julia asked, looking at her team. "No wounds? No shots?" She was nervous.

"We're ok."

"Where's Kevin?" Chess and Tom shook their heads, when she'd asked. "No. I can't tell Hayley this. No. Where is he?" Chess led her to the rear of the still. He'd taken the first bullet. The shot they heard hadn't been from his gun. It had been from the intruder's weapon. "Fuck." Julia muttered. "Fuck."

"Where are Jay and Tavin?" Tom asked.

"I don't know." Julia answered. "I don't fucking know."

"What do we do? Where are we going?"

"No where yet. I don't know. Let me think please." Julia walked away from the team. "Why did he go out alone? Fuck!" Julia felt guilty as hell. He died on her watch.

"Julia, he took a shot to the chest." Tom pointed out.

Julia turned, walking back to where Kevin lay by the still. She aimed at his head. She fired. She needed to talk to Hayley.

She knocked on the addition door and Luz left her inside. She tread the short hall to Hayley where she lay on her bed with Tatia who had fallen back to sleep.

"Hay," Julia called.

Hayley looked at her in the doorway and knew when she saw Julia's tears. Julia didn't have to say a word. "Ok." She said softly, rolling onto her side, cradling Tatia.

There were twenty more questions firing at her like the bullets had fired earlier. Julia crouched by the wood stove in the center of the addition and started crying, holding her gun to her chest as she wept.

Kelly stood with Tarin in the doorway to Julia's very own room. "I don't know, Kelly. I don't know." Chess came inside and fetched her. He pulled her to her feet and embraced her, letting her cry until she calmed down. "Kelly, when you lay him down, can you grab my back pack and put my notebooks inside of it, please. If we need to leave, I'd like them. Thanks."

Chess took her back outside. "When do you think we should leave?"

"Chess, I-I'm scared." She whispered.

"Get your shit together. There's time for crying when we get where we're going."

"We're not leaving, Chess. It's too soon. I mean, we're prepared for that, but not yet."

"They know where to meet us, Julia."

"They do." She nodded. "But it's not bad enough yet, Chess."

"Julia,"

"Fuck! I said no." She yelled. "The threat's been eliminated for now. Dammit, Chess. We don't fucking run!"

"I agree with Julia, Chess." Cassidy said. "Tom?"

"Me, too. For now." He nodded at Cass. "Doug?" Tom asked.

"I'm not part of the table. What's the plan?"

"The plan, everyone, is to bug the fuck out of here. It's the plan."

"The plan was for threats. There's no threat now, Chess. They're fucking dead." Julia pointed out. "You want me to bug out the whole group when the threat is dead."

"Yes, I do. Now. That's the plan. We don't deviate from the fucking plan. We get to safety and we wait. We have a plan in place, dammit."

"Chess, really, you're being hard on her."

"Cass, there's a plan. And she's worried about Jay and Tavin. I am too, but we bug out. That's what we do. Let's roll out. Jules, you know I'm right."

"You are." Julia nodded. She climbed the two steps to the door and went inside. She took her bag from the floor where Kelly had set it.

"Everyone, shoes on. Calmly head out and get in the vehicles."

Julia took Tatia from Hayley and placed her in the car seat in the Van. Kelly and Tarin got in the Prius with her and Chess. Luz drove the van with Cass side seat and well armed.

"Where are we going?" The kids asked.

"Don't worry. We'll be coming back. This is just in case ok."

As dawn was approaching, the vehicles all left the yard. Chess jumped out and closed the gate.

When they reached the library, they parked the vehicles around back in the lot nearest the rear emergency exit. Julia and Chess walked to the front, opened the door and walked inside. She and Chess ensured the building was clear before opening the emergency door and allowing everyone inside the children's library. Beneath the table in the rear of the children's library were their e-bags that she and Jay had left there. Each time they went to the Library, they dropped another bag off. It had been Tavin's idea.

Chess and Julia settled everyone inside. The group was in a horrible mood. Sad, scared, confused and overwhelmed, each wondered what the hell had happened. Julia did her best to reassure them, but she was wearing thin with the positivity as she felt herself about to breakdown.

Once everyone was relatively calm, she sneaked outside the library to the hall way and sat down. The dawn's light was shimmering in through the windows above and she started crying. Chess followed her, sitting beside her. He pulled her close to his scrawny body and managed to console her. "We did the right thing by leaving. They'll know where to find us."

"I know." She nodded on his chest.

"It's what we planned, Julia. You know that. You made the plan."

"You're right, Chess. I know."

"Julia, lay down. I'll let you know if I hear something."

"Not yet. Stay here, Chess." She cried.

"Hey, you gotta calm down. Julia, please."

"Yeah, you're right, just gimme a few minutes. Go back in."

She sat in the hall with a million scenarios churning in her mind. The what if's were killing her. What if Jay and Tavin didn't come back? What if they couldn't go home? Should they have even left home? Could she and Chess mastermind this group back on it's feet? The foundation had been shaken up, but they reacted the way they were supposed to and they had lost only one life. What on earth had Kevin been thinking? He knew the drill. They'd done the drill. That was the purpose of the drill, to react in a way that kept everyone safe and sound and alive. He totally diverted from the plan. The point of the plan was so no one would go rogue and put the group in harm's way.

Those were questions they'd answer later when they regrouped and they knew what they were definitely doing. There was a prescribed amount of time they had to stay at the library before reforming the table and creating a new direction. The wait was the hardest part. Creating the group minus three key players would be devastating to them.

She pulled herself together, got on her feet and carried on. She had things to do. Once she determined everyone was settled down and comfortable, Julia got her bag from the car and sat by the emergency exit in a chair. She documented in her book what had happened, how many they'd killed and how many they'd lost. She marked in red the mistakes to revisit later. Hindsight is 20/20. When she finished documenting, she placed the notebook back in her bag and checked the group again. Hayley had the baby sleeping on her chest while Kelly had the kids in a bright corner, reading to them. Luz listened intently to Tom who was redrilling her about when to pull the gun and when to fire the weapon he'd given her. She'd been trained by Jay several times to shoot, but Luz never did feel comfortable with the weapon in her hands. Doug and Cass were eating in the upstairs at the street level entrance to the library, manning the door. And Chess was asleep with Jess sitting beside him.

"You tired, Julia? Wanna sleep? I can take your door."

"No, I'm not tired. I am all nerves. I'll sleep later. When he wakes up, I need him. We have stuff to talk about, ok."

"Yeah, sure."

She needed Tavin and Jay.