CHAPTER TWO-GHOSTS

"I'm not hungry." She hissed, swatting the can of spaghettios away from her. She sat by the door. The dark of night upon them once again. Chess held the can with the plastic spoon back avoiding the spill and the splatter.

"Yeah, you're angry. I see that." He said. "But you need something to eat."

"Give it to one of the kids, please."

"They ate. You haven't since yesterday. I can spoon feed you." He offered, scooping a bite out of the can and holding it in front of her mouth. She looked away from him. "Julia, I don't know how to play this game like Jay does. I'm a cut and dry kinda guy."

"If I eat, I'll vomit." She said, taking the can from him.

"You have to think like it's just me and you now."

"I don't want to."

"Ready or not, the way I see it, you don't have much of a choice."

He sat on the floor beside her chair, staring through the glass at the black reflection of darkness.

"It hurts so much." She said spooning the cold spaghettios into her mouth. "Don't you have any feelings at all?"

"I turned them off. Can't walk around with feelings. Anyway...did you sleep yet?"

"Nah, I'm just sitting and waiting."

"Eat and lay down. I got this."

"Chess, geeze."

"It's an order, not a suggestion. Go let Jess do what she does best ok?"

"What's Jess do best?"

"Be a friend, duh." He answered.

Julia stood with her can of food. Chess stood as well, looking down at her. He hugged her tight. "Don't forget I claim that ass, girl." He laughed, slapping at her butt as she walked away.

"Ha ha, Chess. Very funny."

Julia lay in the dark beside Jess, listening to Tarin cry for the second time. Being in the same enclosure with a crying baby brought back memories of Tatia's middle of the night wailing. That was such a distant memory. She tossed and turned and then decided to get up. She made her way to Kelly who had changed and was feeding Tarin. She had been used to her middle of the night routine where Tavin would rise with Tarin, change him, cuddle him and then lay him against her chest as they'd lay together as little family and watch the baby feed. Now they looked most uncomfortable fumbling around in the dark and cold of the library. The kerosene heater hummed in their corner close to the children and Kell and Hayley, but far enough away that they were not setting the library on fire.

"This is such bullshit." Julia mumbled to herself, rounding the hallway to head to the bathroom. She peed, spruced herself up a bit, then went and did rounds, checking on everyone at their posts. Cass and Doug had dozed off in front of the main entrance. Julia passed them and peeked through the door to see the main road. Dead bodies rotting is all. She and Jay had put them down there. Never had bothered to move them. Tire tracks had crushed part of their remains into the pavement.

Chess sat in the chair by the emergency exit by the door in the children's library, wrapped up in a blanket, snoring. She touched his shoulder, startling him awake. He made room for her on his lap and wrapped the blanket around her as well. Nothing yet and it didn't appear as the end of their first 24 hours at the library would be eventful. She started crying again, unsure of their true loss, but still feeling it nonetheless. She felt her chest aching, she felt crushed and sad as she cried softly.

Chess left himself feel it too. Her tears were contagious as they sat huddling for warmth and holding hands. The advent of the new day was heavy. As the daylight did creep in slowly, the rain began, light then heavy, then light again.

Chess moved her off his lap, arousing her from the sleep that had come again. "There's a car. Guns." He whispered. He kicked the chair out of the way as they drew their weapons. The car parked, idling behind the box truck. The headlights shined toward the door. A man emerged from the rear of the truck, then another. Covered in heavy jackets and hoods to keep the rain from soaking them to the bone.

"Chess." Julia whispered. "Why this door? Why not the front?" She asked.

She and Chess backed away from the door, guns raised and aimed directly at the burly approaching men.

"Code Red!" Chess yelled.  Bodies behind them moved to the floor, adults covering children. Tarin was wailing again and the kids were screaming. "When the door opens, Julia..."

But the man placed his hands up, on the glass, gloved hands.

"Hands up, Chess."

"Fuck it. When the door opens..."

The two men stood at the door. A hand went for the door handle, Julia and Chess's fingers moved to the triggers. Julia was shaking and terrified once again until the man pulled his hood off his head and stared directly through the glass at them. Rain poured over his cropped brown hair, graying around the edges. A five o'clock shadow grown out on his worn face, a scar across his cheek. That was healed and that was not there before. The man beside him removed his as well. A thick brown beard, brown eyes. Heavy set and both soaking wet now in the rain.

Julia lowered her weapon. "Chess, holy fuck, Chess." She holstered her weapon. The other man removed his hood and stared through the door. "It's our fucking dads." Tom, Cass and Doug arrived behind them, looking out the door. For a moment no one moved.

"No fucking way." Cass muttered, pushing past them. She went to the door and pushed it open, allowing them inside. Julia and Chess were shocked at the faces staring back at them. Neither could move until they were bear hugged by these two men that they had thought were long dead, part of the herd, or succumbed to illness.

"Let's go home now." Cal told her, separating from her. She hadn't seen him in so long. She was speechless.

Julia and Chess looked at each other. Cal and John explained themselves, that they had Tavin and Jay at the farmhouse. Injured, but at home. They were able to return home. Tavin had sent them to the rear entrance of the library specifically to tell them to come home.

Julia and Chess allowed them inside further to the inner library. They looked at all the children, the women, the weapons, the food. The amount of preparation that had gone into their set up. As Julia and Chess gathered up their group and they readied to depart, Luz and Cass and all the children piled back into the van.

"Who are these men?" Luz asked, eyeing them.

"We'll explain this at home. We need to have a meeting and check on Tav and Jay. Trust them, ok."

They broke down the library encampment and returned it to its original state that they'd found it. It looked like no one had ever been there.

It took all of a half hour to shut down.

The ride back to the farm house had been excruciatingly long and worrisome. Kelly and Tarin and Hayley sat in the back of the Prius and had stopped asking Julia and Chess questions. They had just enough space to squeeze inside their gate. There were lines of vehicles parked on either side of the street in front of their farmhouse.

"Chess, what the hell? I'm so confused." Julia said.

"You are? We're seeing fucking ghosts." He mumbled. "We've been doing this alone all this time and they're alive?"

"There's time for that later. Let's go see them."

They got out of the car and led everyone inside the house through the addition. There was literally an army of people in their house.

"Where's Tavin and Jay?" Julia asked.

Cal led them through the crowd to the living room where they sat on the sofa looking beat up and broken. Lumps and bruises, but cleaned up. Jay wore a cast on his right arm and a sling. Tavin had a bandage around his head and a wound on his right leg, which was equally as bandaged. He'd been shot through his thigh and thankfully the bullet hadn't hit any arteries.

"Who shot you?" Julia asked. "Who shot you? I am not asking again." She was seething angry. "Is the person that shot you in my house?" She glared. "Red, he's right there."

A kid all of age 17 was standing by her front door talking with several other men. All acting as if nothing had happened and they were not standing in her house in her living room enjoying the warmth of her fireplace. A ginger haired child that was armed, probably taught to shoot first and ask questions last like her very own group.

Julia crouched in front of Tavin and Jay, looking at her boys. "And you? What the fuck happened to you?"

"I fell off the horse." He smiled. High as a kite.

"So no one touched you? The horse did this?"

"Yep."

It didn't take long, but Julia had thrown the entire army of persons into her yard. Men and women alike were out. They'd been allowed to set up camp in her field temporarily. Cal's group was larger and stronger, but they were guests in her home. They were an efficient group, however and had set up their camp in the field with tents and latrines, the whole nine yards, much like the military. They were ready to go and even had a generator. By night fall, Cal's camp was up and running and Julia's was settling in for the night. It'd been a stressful day for sure.

Julia and Chess spent part of their afternoon out in the field with Cal and John, discussing who was in charge and hashing out the reasons why Julia's group killed 8 of their men. She and Chess were invited to chow time, but declined the invitation. Luz had already prepared the meal and they had evening meeting to attend.

They agreed to meet after meal time to reconnect. Their groups still needed to run and there were chores that needed tending to.

"These groups don't run themselves, right?" Julia suggested.

Her dad walked her and Chess back to the house. "I'm proud of what you've done here." He told her.

"It's hard work." Julia nodded. "Thanks."

He gave her a hug, "So you're in charge here?"

"With a hell of a lot of help." She acknowledged, letting Chess put an arm around her shoulders.

"There's a lot we need to talk about."

"Agreed." Julia said. "We'll see you later. Bon fire remember?"

She and Chess left him standing outside.

Tavin was obviously feeling a great deal of discomfort. He hadn't doctored himself and Jay up, but Cal's medic had. It all went south when Jay's horse startled and threw him off. Tavin knew there was trouble when he heard Jay's bone crack, then Jay screamed, which brought the attention of a dozen men on them. Jay's right arm was broken, but his dominant left arm was just fine as he drew at the approaching men. Shots rang out and Tavin got hit in the thigh and had a graze wound to his head. All he had done was cover Jay, which saved his life probably. Then they were taken prisoner where they came face to face with ghosts of the past. Cal hadn't remembered Tavin, but he sure remembered Cal. When Cal and John saw who was laying in the road with their men, they quickly transitioned from foe to friend and the men wanted to know where their kids were. With all the guns aimed at them they didn't feel as though they had a lot of options, so Jay spilled that the group was at home. They'd sent out a group of men who'd trailed behind them via walkie talkie to check out the farmhouse. The group of 8 had been ambushed by a handful of drunk teenagers, an artist and a carpenter and were effectively assassinated upon entering the yard, which was why Tavin and Jay didn't want to have them go there in the first place. They warned them they'd be killed, but they were trained men.

When they hadn't heard back from their 8 man team, they entire group rerouted back to the farmhouse only to see that Julia had followed the plan and had bugged out, which spared a lot more bloodshed.

Once inside the farmhouse, the medic had patched up Jay and Tavin and Cal and John set off for the library to retrieve the group and bring them back. Sending Cal and John had been the best idea, because Julia and Chess would not have gone with anyone else. They would have killed anyone else.

If Jay's horse hadn't spooked, then none of this would have ever occurred.

People in the different groups they met all had a specific way of organization. They all functioned independently in their own way and each had its leaders and rules. Cal's group had a troop like feel to it. Many members were ex-military, medics and grunts and civilians that had formed along the road, picking people and supplies up. Each person adding to the function of the group. There were few women and no children. They viewed women and children as a liability, which Julia found to be rather cut throat and cold. The women and children, according to Julia, were the foundation of her group. Everything they'd done was directed to protect and keep comfortable the women and the children, then on a larger scale, the entire family.

Evening meeting was short and sweet. Julia had a couple new decisions they'd need to vote on, one being no more bugging out. They'd bugged out for nothing after that group of 8 came on their land. You don't give up your home that easily. The next time they left, Julia planned on burning it down. If she couldn't have it, then no one would. No one was ready to hear that yet, so she thought it best to keep it to herself.

The medic came to the door and left himself in, scaring them to death and having guns aimed at him he put his hands up. None of Cal's crew seemed to comprehend the idea of knocking on a door. "I'm Ansell, the medic." He said, holding up his bag.

"What do you want, Ansell the medic?" Julia asked, rising from her seat.

"To see Tavin and Jayson." He answered.

Julia accompanied him to Jay who slept on the bed in their room. Ansell was a very physically fit, 5 foot 8 man with black hair in his late 20's. If Julia was not attached to half the people in the house, she would toss around the idea of getting to know Ansell the medic a little better. Eyes as dark as his hair and an adorable smile. He was very comfortable with trauma care.

"I've assessed him and he'll live. Thanks for taking care of him." Julia told him.

"You've assessed him, have you?"

"Yeah. He's got decent blood flow. Some post trauma swelling, but he's not cyanotic. See the finger tips?" She answered, giving a gentle squeeze.

"You've done this before?"

"Nope. Tavin showed me when they were on the couch together. He's an EMT. Was working in the field when the shit hit the fan." She shook her head. "I wish I could. You set the bone and all?"

"I did." Ansell replied.

"That's really cool. Where'd you learn that?"

"GWOT." He answered.

"Not a man of many words, Ansell the medic?"

"No, ma'am." He shook his head. "Where is Tavin?"

"Follow me." She said, leading him through the doorway to the stairs. She knocked on the door and Kelly told her to come inside. Tavin was holding Tarin. Ansell was not expecting an infant in the room.

"That's a baby." He said, smiling.

"Yes, he's my son." Tavin told him.

"How old?"

"Three weeks." Kelly answered.

"Wow, a baby. I haven't seen a baby in along time. May I?" He asked, reaching for Tarin who cooed and gurgled.

"He's healthy." Julia smiled.

"Who delivered him?" Ansell asked, cradling Tarin against his chest.

"Julia and I did." Tavin answered.

"I did." Kelly announced after them. "2 days of labor and delivery and no pain medicine."

"48 hours, ma'am. That's unbelievable. No epidural?"

"The old fashioned way." Kelly sighed. "We didn't have an epidural, no."

"How are you recovering, ma'am?"

"Ok. My stitches came out a couple days ago and I'm almost done bleeding."

"Stitches?"

"The baby tore her, so I sewed her up. I had to practice for that. I read a book that explained it." Tavin explained to Ansell.

"Amazing job. Congratulations." Ansell handed the baby over to Kelly. "It's a shame you couldn't do the epidural."

"That's beyond my capability." Tavin told him.

"Our doc could. I wish we were here a few weeks ago. Could have helped you out."

"Well, maybe you'll be around for the next one in June." Tavin suggested.

"There's another due?"

"Yes." Julia answered. "You came to see Tavin, Ansell."

Ansell cut the bandage off Tavin's head. "That's awful fleshy." Julia observed.

"Fleshy, yes." Ansell repeated. "Bleeding has stopped. Keep it clean and keep it covered." He redressed the wound and then cut the bandage off Tavin's leg. That was more painful than he'd expected.

"I've been icing it." Tavin told him.

"I can give you percs."

"No thanks." Tavin shook his head. He handed Kelly the bag and asked her to fetch more ice.

"Y'all have ice?" He asked.

"In the fridge. Runs on solar power." Tavin replied, wincing as he bent his leg so Ansell could assess anterior and posterior wounds.

"You'll need an antibiotic. Keep it clean and keep the pressure dressing on another 24 hours. I'll recheck it tomorrow."

"What kind of antibiotic? PO or IV?" Tavin asked, looking at Julia. "Do you remember what we have, Red?" Tavin asked.

"Off the top of my head, no. I'd have to refer to the book. But we have the start kits and the supplies. Ansell, what would you like? I'll get it for you."

"I have it right here." He said, reaching in his bag. He removed all his supplies and tied Tavin's right arm off. 

"I may be a difficult stick." He said to Ansell as he looked for a viable vein. Tavin glanced at Julia.

"I see that." Ansell agreed. "You're left handed." He untied the band and moved to the left arm. "Better." Ansell said.

"Barely." Tavin sighed.

Once the IV was started, Ansell ran a bag of antibiotic over a half hour. He set two bags on the bed. He instructed Julia on spiking the bag and screwing the tubing to the cap on the IV in Tavin's arm, flushing the IV. "72 hours of IV antibiotics should do it. You definitely don't want that infected."

Julia unhooked the IV and flushed the port. The next IV was in 8 hours.

She escorted Ansell back to the door and thanked him again for his help.

The flames kicked up at the fire they'd set. It was warm and inviting. Attendance from Julia's group was lacking. Tom and Luz joined for a bit. Cass and Doug made an appearance. Julia and Chess hung out with their dads a while. Julia and Chess had started drinking again and listened to their stories of survival and how they'd come together after things went south. John had been on the road, delivering a load in Chicago. He'd driven as far as he could, walked then drove and fought his way back home to find a disaster in his hometown. He'd found the note that Chess and Jay had left in the bedroom for him. He'd gone looking for Chess, but they'd already rolled out of Green Street. In the beginning he'd had hope his whole family was still alive in the house and holed up waiting for him to get home, but he was only searching for Chess in the end.

Cal had been quarantined in the hospital with Ellen. Those that had lived through the initial infection were transferred to the top floor of the hospital and recovered with those in the military who'd been infected and recovered as well as hospital staff. It took weeks to recover and then grow strong enough to even think of a way out of there. The entire time he'd been there he only had one thought on his mind and that was Julia. He'd told her to get to safety, take Andy and get somewhere safe.

The majority of the group of survivors that were beside him now in the encampment were from that hospital ward. Before Cal left Maverick and hit the road he went to find Julia. In fact that's where he'd picked up with John, on Green Street. They found the house that they'd been in. They saw that the other houses on the street had been ransacked for food and other supplies. That gave Cal and John the will to move on and hopefully find them. The fact that they'd stuck together and survived this long with each other had been miraculous. They'd been all over Pennsylvania and back looking for their families, finding nothing but death and more death.

"I knew that Jay would keep you safe." Cal said.

"We keep each other safe." Julia told him. "We survived. We've lost people, but we carry on. That's what we do."

"You have babies in there. Ansell said there's an infant."

"Tavin and Kelly had Tarin. Hayley's pregnant now. Yes."

"And you?"

"Uh, nothing planned. We have a bunch of little kids in there. That's what this is all for. Keeping them safe and happy and alive."

"I'm proud of you. You've done a good job here. I'm glad you're with us now though."

"What's that mean?" Julia asked, moving closer to Chess. "That you've found us and you know we're ok?"

"Well, Julia, it means we wouldn't need to be separated again."

"So you can settle around here somewhere?"

"No, it means we're a family again. A small one, but a family."

"I am happy here, dad." Julia said. "I don't want to let you down, but this is my home. I live here. These people are my family."

Chess agreed, "I live here."

"We appreciate that you've been searching high and low, but we haven't. We chose a different road in life. We chose to settle down and accept our life as it is."

"We have all we need." Chess told them.

"We take care of ourselves." Julia added. "We can't pick up and start traveling the roads and scavenging with children and babies. That's not acceptable."

"Yeah, our kids are used to a certain life. That's too nomadic for them."

"I worked too hard to abandon this on a whim. No way." Julia said, shaking her head.

"They're not your kids. Neither of you have children." Cal reminded them.

"These people, they're our-my people. They need me, us. They wouldn't make it without us."

"Uh, so no. Thanks, but no." Chess said, putting an arm around Julia. 

"You're still kids." John said to them. 

"New world we live in. Our house, our rules." Julia paused, looking sideways at Chess for support. "We built this from the ground up. You think we walked in here and it looked like this? You think it came with solar power and showers and water catchment systems, planted fields?"

"We worked our asses off building this. We worked till our fingers bled planting the ground and harvesting our food. Chopping wood for our stoves, keeping everyone warm and fed. That's not a field of dirt you're standing in, that's our farm that we'll have to plant soon."

"You think this place came with fucking animals? It didn't. I bartered for those chickens and I learned how to care for them-"

"Guys, calm down. It's early yet-"

"Don't cut her off. Let her speak." Chess spoke up.

"Do you know what we had to do just to get a cow and a calf?"

"We're not the punks that hung out on the weekends getting shitfaced high and drunk and laid anymore."

"I suppose what we're trying to say is, don't try telling us what to do. That doesn't fly here."

"Our house, our rules."

Chess led Julia away to let her calm down a little. She'd experienced a myriad of emotions the last 24 hours and anger was the approaching emotion. She'd already turned a few shades of red just talking calmly. He spent more time at Julia's side the last 24 hours to realize when to stop her and when to motivate her. It was quite the responsibility being her second and he was becoming overwhelmed. Talking wasn't his strong point.

"Drinks, Julia?" Chess suggested, pulling a bottle from the wall by the still.

"Please, Chess." She nodded, reaching for the hooch. "Thanks for getting me outta there."

"I thought it would be a good idea." He said, sitting beside her on the wooden crate outside the open shed.

"You've done a great job, Chess. The last 24 hours. You stepped up and took charge. I like this new you. It shows you care more than you let on."

"I do care, Julia." He said, taking the bottle from her. He took a drink. "This tastes like fucking horse piss."

"It does the job though. We should look into trying to make this have some flavor other than the gasoline variety."

"You drink vodka straight. This is just as bad." He laughed.

"You know, I'm glad you're my friend, Chess."

"Don't get all emo on me please."

"Why does that scare you so much? I got your back like you got mine."

Chess didn't reply, only drank. She didn't press him. He let himself out bits and pieces at a time.

"Where's baby girl tonight?"

"All this scares her. All these strangers."

"They are a little weird aren't they? It's such an odd group. Very few women and no children. Why is that? No sense of family. I like what you said, 'nomadic'."

"That's what it is. It's not that I don't like them. I just don't know them well enough to trust them."

"I understand it. A brotherhood, like a unit in the army or something. They're on this mission in a war zone."

"That's not for me." Julia said. She watched Tom and Luz head inside. Cass was with a group of Cal's soldiers around the bonfire. Doug stood not too far off from them, watching. Cass was most hospitable and chatty, trading war stories maybe?

"What's she up to?" Chess asked, watching Cass as well.

Julia had seen her do this in the past. "She's flirting, Chess. Remember how she used to be? Before Ray?"

"She acted like she put out and never did. That's why she kisses so good. She had a lot of practice."

"Think Doug is the jealous type?" She asked, noticing how he was separated from the chatty Cass.

"Jay's looking for you." Chess said, pointing to the addition doorway. He stood with his sling and a jacket over his shoulders.

"Shit, here." Julia handed him the bottle of alcohol.

Jay saw the activity in their field and it made him uncomfortable. It didn't feel right, like they'd been invaded. He had that worried look on his face. The activity would draw the dead. They kept it as quiet as possible usually. It amazed him how the nomads had no care in the world about the dead. They had enough bullets for an army, but their way was different from these nomads.

He saw Julia sitting beside Chess. He saw her before she'd seen him. The Percocet was still having its way with his brain, he felt fuzzy and remote. He saw she was drinking and watched as she handed the bottle over to her second in command.

"Hi, babe. Come out." Julia smiled. "Be careful on the steps please."

"I'm fine, Jules." He told her.

She hugged him and was careful of his casted arm. "How's the pain, babe?"

Jay winced a little, but denied discomfort. "What the hell is this?" He asked, eyes surveying the land around him.

"Well, we're mingling." Julia said nervously. "Come with me. We'll make the rounds. You feel alright?"

"I do. A little sore."

"I was worried about you, Jayson. I was scared."

"I Know. I was too. I thought I was gonna die."  He said, putting his good arm around her shoulders. "I said something last night that I regret ever saying to you. It was what I was thinking about while me and Tavin got shot at. When I thought I'd never see you again."

"Jay, sometimes we say things we mean and it's just said at the wrong time. I know you love me."

"I do." He said, pulling her close to him. "I'm sorry, Julia."

"Jay, it's alright. It's not what I was thinking about when I was worried about you, when I thought the worst had happened."

"Chess kept you safe, right?"

"Definitely. He made us stick to the plan. He stepped up, Jay. He did an awesome job."

"Good. It's what I wanted him to do. I asked him to do it a long time ago. If I wasn't around, to make sure you were ok. And the kids."

He wouldn't let her go. He didn't want to. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Jay, it's part of life. I wasn't prepared for it, but you're ok."

"It could have been so much worse."

"But it's not. We all lived through this one somehow, except for Kevin. But our plan worked. It needs some tweaking here and there, but for the most part, Jay, we lived because it worked."

"I don't want you to be mad at me."

"I'm not. Jay, what is wrong? Babe, we're going to be fine."

"I need you, Julia. I just need you."

"Ok, I'm right here, Jay. Do you want to go inside?"

He nodded. Julia took him by his good arm and walked with him to their corner of the world. Jay had hung up all her pictures on the wall again. He'd placed all her books back on the desk and set up her work space for her. With one arm, he'd returned their room to its previous state of disarray.

Julia pulled the door shut and sat on the bed, leaving him lay down with his head on her lap. She pulled the hair tie out of his hair, letting his lengthy hair fall on her legs. She wiped his tears with her sleeve and left him cry. He was scared and traumatized and in pain. There was nothing she could say as he worked it out in his head. He'd been holding it in and he came to her when he couldn't do it anymore. Jay didn't want to be alone.

She crept out of their room and left the door open so the heat from their furnace could emanate inside. She pulled on her hoodie and checked outside. The bonfire had burned low and there were fewer people milling around. Cass and Doug still sat by the fire, alone but together. She made sure everything was ok and asked if they were the only ones left outside. They were. Julia asked them to lock up when they came in and to enter via the kitchen. Next Julia went through the house and checked the doors and windows, checked the kids who all slept soundly in their own beds. She knocked on Tavin and Kelly's door, entering quietly when she didn't get a response. Tavin sat in the chair by the window, legs elevated as he looked out the window, checking what he could see of the perimeter.

"Shhh." He whispered. "They just fell asleep."

Julia got the saline flush and his next IV from the sill where it sat chilled from the cool weather outside. She hooked the bag on the window lock and strung the tubing, priming the line so there was no air in it. She flushed his port and hooked up the line to infuse the small bag of antibiotic.

She leaned to his ear, whispering, "How's my patient? Any pain?"

"A lot." He answered.

"More ice?"

"Doesn't work."

"Motrin?"

"Morphine." He sighed. "I'd like morphine."

"No, how about a perc?"

He thought a minute. "Two." He agreed.

Julia handed him the pills from her pocket and then fetched the water bottle from the sill for him. "That's a wicked wound." Julia whispered.

"I know. It hurts like a bitch."

"Think the percs will work?"

"Yeah. For a while." He answered. "How's Jayson?"

"Emotional. He spent over an hour crying on me." Julia said. "Finally fell asleep."

"Really?"

"That's my Jay." She shrugged. "How about you?" She asked putting her hand on his shoulder.

"I'm fine." He answered, but he was still tensed.

"I can listen." She offered.

"I got nothing, Red. Not yet."

"I'm glad you're ok. I could have used your help. But Chess really stepped up."

"I knew he would." Tavin said, repositioning himself. His legs were numbing. He set his good leg down, stretching it out. They both seemed to know Chess would rise to the occasion and take the lead.

They had more faith in him than she had. She realized how wrong she'd been. "Surprised what you can do when you have to." Julia watched out the window as the liquid dripped into the chamber. She glanced down at Tavin's arm and looked at the IV site. It seemed fine. "She was glad to see you?" Julia asked, motioning toward Kelly.

"I guess so. She was glad to be home in her bed and comfortable. I think you were more excited to see me."

"I was scared to death." Julia said. "Chess was claiming my ass and I was hysterical." She laughed.

"I would be hysterical too if Chess was claiming me."

She thought for a moment, "Want me to help you out now?" She asked, looking out the window at the people in her field.

"You already are." He replied, relaxing in his chair. Ah, the sweet effects of the Percocet were kicking in.

"I'm serious, Tav."

"My fucking leg hurts. I can't move like that." He sighed.

"My mouth can." She said. "Nevermind. Some other time."

"Well, if you're offering."

Julia knelt in front of him as he shimmied his sweats down a bit. She took him in her mouth and pleasured him. His breathing was heavy and fast and he came fairly quickly for him, but it had been a while since anyone had done anything sexual for him. When he finished, he handed her the water bottle and pulled his sweats back in place.

"I thought she'd wake up you were sucking so hard." He smiled.

"Please, what's she care?" Julia grinned.

"You don't think she would?"

"Not a bit. Trust me." She answered.

"Jayson would."

"Eh, he doesn't need to know." Julia told him, shrugging. She clamped off the IV and disconnected him, then flushed the line again to keep it patent. "All done, Tav. Are the percs working yet?"

"I feel them." He answered, pushing himself to a standing position. She got him under his arm, supporting his bad leg as he scooted carefully through the room to the bed. He laid next to Kelly, caught Julia's arm before she left his bedside. "Thanks."

Julia was up early, woken by Jay who complained about his arm and his sling. "Do I need the sling?" He asked as he tossed it on the desk from the bed. She got out of bed, drawn by the smell of fresh coffee that Luz had put on which she thought was strange because they had no more coffee. It was one of those modern day perks that had gone away with TV and internet.

"You smell that, babe?" Julia asked. "Coffee."

Jay and Julia were first in line and Luz filled little Styrofoam cups for them. Luz indicated that Cal had pulled her aside and in getting to know each other had asked what they needed more than anything. Luz answered, 'coffee'. All the modern conveniences in the world and coffee was a guilty pleasure that would please more than one soul for sure. All their supply runs and all the gathering they'd done and they'd come up empty on coffee.

"Bacon." Jay announced, adding some sugar and creamer to the hot black liquid. "You should have said bacon."

"Vodka. You should have said vodka."

"Oh, Julia. Please." Luz criticized her.

"Sorry." Julia shrugged. "Gimme another cup for Tavin please. I need to hang his next IV. Extra sugar, no cream." Luz handed it over and Julia climbed the stairs again to the second floor. She went in the bedroom and handed over the cup to him as he sat up in bed. Julia hooked Tavin up to his IV as he sipped his coffee. He didn't ask where it came from or why, he just drank it. He was still nude beneath his blankets, but Kelly had redressed and been up with the baby already. She sat in the chair feeding him with her legs propped on the end of the bed.

"I was thinking, how long is it going to take you and Jay to get better? Fully recovered?"

"A long time, at least 6 to 8 weeks for Jay's arm. Me, I don't know. A month or so." He answered. "Why?"

"We have things to do and I'll have to make adjustments with our schedule is all."

"Julia, let's not worry about it right now."

"Ok. I think you should take the books though and I'll take over your end of things. It all has to be rearranged because of Kevin, too." She paused a moment, thinking of Kevin and Hayley. "Shit, Kevin. Tavin, we should bury him. Have a service of some kind. Right?"

"It's the right thing to do. He's our first death." Kelly said.

"That should be our priority today, then. I'll get us out there and start digging."

"Where is he?" Kelly asked.

"Behind the still." Julia answered. "God, we shouldn't have left him there."

She held Tarin while Kelly got dressed for the day. She went and rounded up the kids next door and told them to get up and get dressed. "Make your beds, take your laundry downstairs when you're done please. Alex, help your sister."

"Ok, Kelly. I will." But none of them listened, all coming in the room to see baby Tarin and give him kisses. Tatia crawled up with Tavin and looked at his bandages. "Boo-boo's." She said, looking at his head and his leg. "Mommy, you see Tavin's boo-boo's." Tatia asked.

"Yep, I see them, Tati. Don't touch ok." Julia smiled.

"K." She answered. "We staying home today?"

"Yes, Tati, we are."

"I like the library. A lot of books. We go back there?"

"Soon, Tati, sure." Julia nodded, sitting on the bed with Tarin so she could see the baby. Tatia patted his arm and kissed his forehead. "I gotta brush her hair, My God." Julia said as she toddled away. She handed the baby off to Tavin and disconnected his IV.

"I'll see you guys at breakfast."

Julia fought with Tatia the entire time she brushed her hair. The kid hated having her hair touched or brushed. Knots galore. After ample threats to cut it all off, Tatia's hair was finally brushed free of knots and pulled up in a tail. Her hair was a beast unto itself. Julia carried her laundry bag down stairs for her and set it with the others.

Once breakfast commenced and all were at the table, Julia noticed Hayley was absent. She took her a plate to her bedroom and set it on her dresser. "Hay," Julia called. "Wake up Hayley."

She woke and took her plate from Julia, saying a hushed thank you. "It's going to be ok, Hay. We'll get you through this."

She didn't reply, just ate and wanted to be left alone.

Kelly took the kids outside to the swing set awhile to work off their energy and then had their chores to begin. Tatia stayed inside with Luz and helped clear the tables from breakfast, handing off the plates and dirty utensils to Luz.

"We need to bury Kevin." Julia announced. "We need to give him a proper burial."

Those at the table agreed. They hadn't discussed the subject of death, losing a group member. It was a tradition they wished to carry on, having a proper funeral and burial. A grave to remember the person they lost. It also would start the healing process, allowing them to grieve and move on. Hayley needed that, they all needed that.

Julia returned to Hayley's room and took the empty plate from the dresser. "Hay, can you come with me a minute? Put on a jacket please."

Julia went to the kitchen and dropped off the dish then went with Hayley outside. They walked around the yard, then to the fence that faced the clearing. "Hay, where would you like to bury him?"

"By the Willow." She answered, then returned to the house.

Shovels were handed out in the barn and they made their way toward the area where they'd cleared the trees through the winter. The willow stood old and tall and without any leaves toward the rear of the land. As they climbed over the fencing, the sound of gun shots from Cal's camp startled them back into their yard. The group ran toward the shots that rang out and observed in the rear of the encampment dead walkers on spikes.

"Stop shooting!" Julia screamed at them. 

The men looked at her as if she were crazy. Dead bodies spiked on their fence with bullet holes in them. They'd used them as target practice. "Cass, please run back and tell them we're ok." Julia asked.

"They're dead. So what?" The short and stocky man argued with her.

"No. That is not how we deal with the dead." Julia screamed at him. "We have children here. You do not fire your weapon unless your life is threatened."

Julia took 25 minutes out of her day to school Cal's group in zombie 101. "These spikes prevent them from getting to the fence itself. Once they're impaled, they are unable to advance." She explained. "Once the infected is on the spike, you stab it in the head with the spear like this." Julia explained further, jabbing the infected through the eye with the homemade weapon. "You then flip the spear like this and push the infected that you just exterminated off the spike like this." She continued, giving a push with her spear. "You let it drop to the ground and you move on with your fucking day. No bullets."

"You don't waste bullets. The only gun fire is a rifle and that's if you're killing your dinner." Chess added.

"Each bullet fired is like you ringing their dinner bell. It only attracts them." Tom explained, leaning on his shovel.

"Do you all understand me? This is very important." Julia asked of her audience.

"Can I have that spear?" The man asked.

Julia tossed it to him, then picked up her shovel

"What do you do with them after they're off the fence?" Cal asked.

"We gather them and we burn them." Julia answered. "Out there."

"What's the shovels for?" John asked, noticing they all carried one.

"We have a body to bury."

Cal and John pitched in digging the grave for Kevin. Through hard and rocky earth, they spent a few hours digging deep enough to lay their group member to rest. Hole digging was back breaking work and having been two men short with Jay and Tavin both unable to help, Julia had been grateful for Cal and Uncle John's assistance. The burial and service for Kevin was private and held after lunch. Their group all walked solemnly to the spot by the willow, except for Tavin who had to sit that out.

They stood by the grave side and lowered Kevin's body into the hole. Each said words and remembered Kevin. Kelly handed Hayley a cross that the children had made from wood and wrapped heavy with rope to hold it together. As everyone dispersed in the drizzle, Chess and Julia stayed behind and started replacing the earth over their group member. Hayley sat the cross on the ground to be placed on his grave.

It had been a long exhausting day. One of hard work and one of great sadness. The sadness lingered through dinner and the group was relatively quiet. Hayley had joined them from her room, realizing they all felt the loss. They'd all grieve together and they'd all heal together and eventually they'd all raise the baby together.

None felt up to an evening meeting. Julia scribed in her book a notation marking the day that they buried Kevin.